Monday, May 21st, 2007
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3:26 pm
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the past two months have seemed like one long day.
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it's crazy to think school is almost over. it has been so short. i have learned nothing. i feel like this entire year was just wasted. the only class that i wanted to pay attention to was Marine Biology which turned to shit when our teacher went on maternity leave. so now we have this subsitute and no one has learned anything.
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i'm numb. i feel like i have no emotions anymore. and when they do come out, it's only for little spirts. i will be really happy one second then slide straight back into nothingness. or be really sad for a second and again go into nothingness. not anything. just blank and "whatever" to everything. but i don't mind.
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i realized i havent had a good, real conversation with substinance with anyone lately. except for my mom. i am usually just spitting out random shit that is jumbled by my incoherent, faded mind. or i am saying "for sure" or "whatever" or "it's chill". this is a pretty pathetic vocabulary. but i cant help it. my brain cant function anymore. it's sleep deprived.
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current mood:  .
current music: Alanis Morissette
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Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
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10:03 pm
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i dont know how i'm getting by in school right now.
i dont do any projects.
the homework i do is usually copied.
i dont take notes.
and i dont study for tests.
i'm so over this entire generic highschool eperience.
current mood:  sick
current music: Simon & Garfunkel
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Friday, April 6th, 2007
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2:36 pm
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i'm really into dancing lately
i'm really into techno/electro lately
tonight i am going to Logan's party with libby. and then maybe one of libby's friends parties. and i'm wayyy excited.
Libby and I were going to go to a club tonight and Royal Rumble is playing...but we arent doing it anymore because her sister took back the fake i.d.....bummer :[. BUT TONIGHT WILL BE FUN ANYWAYS!
YEYEAH!!! :]
current mood:  excited
current music: Royal Rumble
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Wednesday, April 4th, 2007
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7:43 pm
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Saturday, March 24th, 2007
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10:37 am
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when you live
in a cookie cutter world
being different
is the same.
when you dont stand out,
and you dont
fit it...
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Friday, March 23rd, 2007
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3:33 pm
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i'm back from out door school....pictures to come...hopefully!
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Thursday, March 15th, 2007
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11:43 pm
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fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him.
i think this was the end. i'm never giving my heart to any boy again. it's been broken twice now. and i just want him to feel the pain of actually feeling your heart fall and brake. i want to inflict sooo much pain upon him. i hate him for doing this to me. but i cant stay mad at him. which makes it all even worse.
shit.
current mood:  utterly depressed
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10:00 pm
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Senior Showcase was really good. haha. i loved it. my favorite things were of course Michael Doll's band. he looked like such a rockstar and it made me super duper proud that we have known eachother our ENTIRE LIVES! anyways, i also thought that comedy guy was hilarious. i think his name was allan. and of course, the Idian Dancing as always is a winner. i love it. but Mrs. Funfar getting up and dancing there at the end killed it.
i think i'm going to a party tomorrow. i'm still deciding if i should go or not. i will talk to mariam tomorrow about it.
this weekend should be good.
next week i'm at out door ed. woohoo! Counselor Dinosaur. yep, that's me! yippee!
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Wednesday, March 14th, 2007
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10:29 pm
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i'm glad it was only for 3 days. he is great. :]
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Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
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9:36 pm
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i hate not being with him.
i feel so EMPTY
i'm not sure if i'm o.k. or if i'm really depressed and just trying to hold it in. i really dont know. a big part of me is missing and i dont know what to do.
current mood:  i dont know
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Monday, March 12th, 2007
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9:13 am
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i had a great weekend with old friends. pictures to come
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Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
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4:34 pm
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I. AM. DEATHLY. ILL.
help.
current mood: sick
current music: none?
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Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
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4:23 pm
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Thursday, January 25th, 2007
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5:50 pm
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so ummmm............
yeah....i'm not good at this thing anymore.
i wish i was.
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Sunday, January 7th, 2007
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8:35 pm
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great break.
good christmas.
great new years.
best best high.
pictures to come maybe......not like any of you care anyway.
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Tuesday, December 5th, 2006
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11:40 pm
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sometimes, when i'm in church, i look at the people singing worship. and i imagine what they look like when they are having sex.
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Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
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12:12 am
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I was Elmo for Halloween.
It was bomb.
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Friday, October 20th, 2006
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10:21 pm
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oh fuck
they're masterbating
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10:21 pm
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Monday, October 16th, 2006
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7:32 am
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saturday night was great because it was homecoming and i went with the best people ever. and then sunday i went to sea world the next day. and that was amazing as well because i went with ken and we love the animals and....
WE FREAKING SAW A MANATEE EATING OUT ANOTHER MANATEE!!!!!!
and........yeah. i am tired.
PICTURES TO COME.....aren't you excited???????
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im_a_lion_rar's journal
peaceful