i want to die today.

Mon, 21 May 2007 22:40:20 GMT

the past two months have seemed like one long day.
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it's crazy to think school is almost over. it has been so short. i have learned nothing. i feel like this entire year was just wasted. the only class that i wanted to pay attention to was Marine Biology which turned to shit when our teacher went on maternity leave. so now we have this subsitute and no one has learned anything.
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i'm numb. i feel like i have no emotions anymore. and when they do come out, it's only for little spirts. i will be really happy one second then slide straight back into nothingness. or be really sad for a second and again go into nothingness. not anything. just blank and "whatever" to everything. but i don't mind.
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i realized i havent had a good, real conversation with substinance with anyone lately. except for my mom. i am usually just spitting out random shit that is jumbled by my incoherent, faded mind. or i am saying "for sure" or "whatever" or "it's chill". this is a pretty pathetic vocabulary. but i cant help it. my brain cant function anymore. it's sleep deprived.
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Wed, 09 May 2007 05:05:42 GMT

i dont know how i'm getting by in school right now.

i dont do any projects.

the homework i do is usually copied.

i dont take notes.

and i dont study for tests.

i'm so over this entire generic highschool eperience.

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 21:42:13 GMT

i'm really into dancing lately

i'm really into techno/electro lately

tonight i am going to Logan's party with libby. and then maybe one of libby's friends parties. and i'm wayyy excited.

Libby and I were going to go to a club tonight and Royal Rumble is playing...but we arent doing it anymore because her sister took back the fake i.d.....bummer :[. BUT TONIGHT WILL BE FUN ANYWAYS!

YEYEAH!!! :]

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 02:42:54 GMT

woooooooooo!

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 17:38:23 GMT

when you live
in a cookie cutter world
being different
is the same.
when you dont stand out,
and you dont
fit it...

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 22:33:06 GMT

i'm back from out door school....pictures to come...hopefully!

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 06:46:10 GMT

fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him fuck him.

i think this was the end. i'm never giving my heart to any boy again. it's been broken twice now. and i just want him to feel the pain of actually feeling your heart fall and brake. i want to inflict sooo much pain upon him. i hate him for doing this to me. but i cant stay mad at him. which makes it all even worse.

shit.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 05:03:15 GMT

Senior Showcase was really good. haha. i loved it. my favorite things were of course Michael Doll's band. he looked like such a rockstar and it made me super duper proud that we have known eachother our ENTIRE LIVES! anyways, i also thought that comedy guy was hilarious. i think his name was allan. and of course, the Idian Dancing as always is a winner. i love it. but Mrs. Funfar getting up and dancing there at the end killed it.

i think i'm going to a party tomorrow. i'm still deciding if i should go or not. i will talk to mariam tomorrow about it.

this weekend should be good.

next week i'm at out door ed. woohoo! Counselor Dinosaur. yep, that's me! yippee!

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 05:28:34 GMT

i'm glad it was only for 3 days. he is great. :]

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 04:37:06 GMT

i hate not being with him.

i feel so EMPTY

i'm not sure if i'm o.k. or if i'm really depressed and just trying to hold it in. i really dont know. a big part of me is missing and i dont know what to do.

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 05:12:57 GMT

i had a great weekend with old friends. pictures to come

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 00:35:36 GMT

I. AM. DEATHLY. ILL.

help.

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 00:28:18 GMT

bgrjgrefkjbhkjewhf

♥

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 01:54:17 GMT

so ummmm............

yeah....i'm not good at this thing anymore.

i wish i was.

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 04:39:16 GMT

great break.

good christmas.

great new years.

best best high.

pictures to come maybe......not like any of you care anyway.

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 06:40:49 GMT

sometimes, when i'm in church, i look at the people singing worship. and i imagine what they look like when they are having sex.

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 07:12:40 GMT

I was Elmo for Halloween.

It was bomb.

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 05:22:14 GMT

oh fuck

they're masterbating

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 05:21:34 GMT

oh shit

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 02:33:47 GMT

saturday night was great because it was homecoming and i went with the best people ever. and then sunday i went to sea world the next day. and that was amazing as well because i went with ken and we love the animals and....

WE FREAKING SAW A MANATEE EATING OUT ANOTHER MANATEE!!!!!!

and........yeah. i am tired.

PICTURES TO COME.....aren't you excited???????

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 06:14:52 GMT

i had a papsmear today. or however you spell it.

it sucked big hairy monkey butt.

i never want to do it again.

it was wayyyy uncomfortable.

who else has had one?

to switch subjects dramatically, something that i find bizzare is that i am really into the rallys this year. maybe it's because we are seniors now and it's not dorky to be "involved" but i really enjoy them. haha. i find that wierd. and i am excited for homecoming. we bought some stuff today for ken's outfit. he is going to look so freaking cute.

Fin

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:45:15 GMT

whenever i come on here i feel empty.

i have nothing to say.

i am boring.

EXCEPT!!!!!!!.......

ken surprised me with SAY ANYTHING & MEWITHOUTYOU TICKETS! holy moly i am so excited and i have a little less than a month to wait. woopdeedoo!!!!!

Sat, 07 Oct 2006 07:09:29 GMT

didn't i look fantastic?
yeah
aren't my friends beautiful?
i love him.

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 06:48:21 GMT

my nipple hurts

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 06:25:02 GMT

oh jeepers.

someone had a birthday today.

and that someone was me.

the big 1-7.

yeah.